The Issue of Pronoun among Transgender People

What pronoun would you prefer? It’s a strange question to ask individuals, but it is an issue that transgender individuals often have to face.  It’s a pronoun mistake we often don’t wish to commit and we may feel guilty for offending transgender individuals.  It is an example of oppressive language and of cissexist in which it all hurts transgender people.

I won’t argue, but it is difficult figuring out which preferred pronoun a person wishes to use.  We are accustomed to use “he” for male and “she” for female, however, we cannot always distinguish between transgender individuals and we must be mindful as to which pronoun they prefer so as to not disrespect them.  If we do ask transgender individuals what prefer pronoun they would like to use, we should be kind and intentional about the way we ask. It is a question that hurts transgender people and it is completely our fault if we get such pronoun wrong after knowing which pronoun the person whishes to use. 

 

 

We should never assume which pronouns we should use based on someone’s appearance.  We may think that because a transwoman dresses more feminine that is reasonable to use the pronoun “she” but that is not always the case.  Some transwoman may just prefer to use “he” to avoid any linguistic violence.  I have witnessed such situation in which some transwoman prefer to use “he” instead of “she” and it has made me understand that transgender people differ from person to person. 

 

In certain situations I have come to witness how some individuals are perplexed as to which pronoun to use amongst transgender individuals and this happens all the time! We don’t know whether we should refer to them as “he” or “she” and we think that it may be easier to refer to transgender people as “it” as it won’t cause any problem to them.  However, referring to them as “it” is inhumane, as we are pushing transgender people away from the social body and perceiving them as artificial in society.

 

I have been in situations in which I didn’t know how to refer to a transgender person.  I didn’t want to offend or make them think that I was teasing their gender transformation. I found it difficult, but the only way I was able to know which pronoun transgender people preferred was to ask in a subtle way that wouldn’t offend them.  

 

Related Video: Trans Parent: How I Came out to my Son

In circumstances, it even becomes difficult to know for children which preferred pronoun their transgender parent would want to use.  At a young age, it is confusing to distinguish whether they should use “he” or “she” for their transgender parent. It is a barrier that they have to confront and it makes it no easier if society keeps draining transgender people with the misuse of pronouns.

The use of pronouns among transgender people becomes even more difficult in school settings.  They tend to be furthered teased by students because of their transgression.  However, it also challenges other students and even teachers as they don't know how they should refer to them. Some schools have adopted a non-gender language in which they try to eliminate gender-specific pronouns.  It makes it easier for transgender people to integrate into a community where pronoun use isn’t a challenge.     

 

I do think that a lot of the misuse of pronoun among transgender individuals is unintentional.  But there is a difference in being unintentional and intentional and those who do it intentionally are shaming the transgender community.   If you know what preferred pronoun a trans* would like to use, a simple “I’m sorry” won’t work if you continue to harass transgender people.  We commit such language violence that builds our ignorance about transgender people. We must become aware that if we get their pronoun right it makes it easier for transgender people to live a better life. 

 

Sources:

 

Battaglino, Stephanie. “Trans Parent: How I Came out to My Son.” HuffpostLive Highlights. Web. 26 Nov. 2013.

Conlin, Jennifer. “The Freedom to Choose Your Pronoun.” The New York Times. 30 Sep. 11. Web. 26 Nov. 2013